and a few ponderous thoughts...
This past weekend we had a family gardening day. We emptied out the veggie beds, cut back the hedges and bay tree, swept up all the leaves - although you wouldn't say so from this picture. But tis' the season for endless falling leaves I guess.
Plants that were in pots were planted out, or popped onto the compost heap if they were spent and the empty pots packed away.
I've kind of been in a reflective mood since then. I mean, the garden is lovely isn't it? So pretty and well structured (nothing to do with me btw), but I just have not fallen in love with it. It's been more than a year since we moved to Devon and although it is super pretty it just has not felt like home.
I have to say that for months this has bothered me. I've tried so hard to love it. Waited for that feeling of peace and content to invade my soul - the way I felt in Chesterfield. But...nothing. I've grappled with guilt because of these feelings. Tried and tried to 'settle', but...no.
Even our lovely home, it's so pretty, so beautifully decorated by the owners, but it's not my less than perfectly appointed home in Chesterfield with it's simple conservatory and sweeping views of the Derbyshire countryside.
Isn't it so strange that a place can so completely have your heart? That a place can either give you a sense of peace, well-being and comfort or make you feel like an alien. I've never had that before. I mean, people have composed songs and written poetry of such things. The song 'Mull of Kintyre' immediately springs to mind in this regard. I kind of always thought that perhaps such things were a bit naff, but I have to admit that I was wrong. I get it now.
Now although I live in England, adore the country and love my English friends very much, one thing I don't share is the English ability to 'Keep Calm and Carry On' indefinitely LOL. I cannot accept that this is where I will live for the rest of my life. Retire here? Oh no! That does not sound like a great option to me at all.
I think my husband was surprised when I eventually voiced my concerns to him. Turns out that he hasn't been exactly enthralled with our move either. Of course we have since had lots of discussions and have been discussing plans for our future. We are committed here for another two years for various reasons but the plan is to go back to our beloved Chesterfield after that and hopefully realise a long time dream of opening our very own business. The thought makes me so h-a-p-p-y :)
Anyhoo...I'll stop with the ponderous thoughts. I have to say that I am loving autumn so far! the falling leaves, the dipping temperatures and the lack of rain LOL - perfect. One of the (many) things I love about this time of year is that with the dropping temperatures my knitting mojo seems to return :D - I am busy with a pair of socks at the moment, one down another already on the go and lots more projects in the pipes. I'll be sure to share some of those projects next week sometime.
Do you find that you drift in and out of crafting moods? Sometimes knitting is it, then that fades and it's cross-stitching ;) I always admire those people who are so focused on one craft and seem to have endless patience and inspiration for it. OK - I'm going to end this post here, it feels like it's getting a bit rambley LOL.
Wishing you all a wonderful weekend and hope to see you back here soon...